He asked to "fluff my boner.."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
