these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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