so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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