dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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