New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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