let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
