Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
