erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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