dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
