shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
