I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
