What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It was like giving head to a cactus.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize