it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
