Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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