So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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