So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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