therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
These tits shall not be calmed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
