You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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