I am puke
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
