Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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