Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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