2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
