Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
