well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
