Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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