I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
