Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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