Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
