I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Randomize
