i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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