please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
