Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
