You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
