awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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