ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
