talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
