if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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