its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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