i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize