You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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