I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
