Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
