upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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