You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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