I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
