somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
