Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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