His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize