it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
