so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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