Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
