He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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