oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
