I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
