So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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