We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
