How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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