ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize