dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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