Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
