yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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