Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
