I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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