i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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