Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
