I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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