Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize