So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
